About Me & Tiffany

I am a 40-year old, single male, never married, no children, and I’m living somewhere in the Eastern US.

Tiffany is 38-years old, a remarkable and extraordinary woman. She lives about 45 miles away from me. She was married for about 13 or 14 years, has a 9-year old son with whom the sun rises and sets for her. She was in love once, many years ago, but he left her out of the blue and moved to Australia because he said he needed some time to figure himself. Two weeks later he was involved with someone new; turns out he didn’t need time for himself at all after all; he already had something new lined up. Tiffany was devastated. She married a couple of years later; it was a safe, companionate marriage, with no real love or passion. Basically she was playing it safe and hiding out from life. (& it’s not like I haven’t done the same as well; so in no way am I throwing stones. Rather I just know the behavior and the mindset really well.)

Tiff and I met through an online matching site in mid- to late-May of this year (2008). Our emails were remarkable from the get go, very light, very humorous, but also out of the ordinary. Our emails had that certain chemistry to it. We enjoyed many of the same things—books, art, movies, food, lifestyle, even Cirque and Chris Rock. Our senses of humor matched well. We got each other. (At least I thought we did.) Our phone conversations were exhilarating and went on typically till 2 am or later. When we met, neither was disappointed with how the other looked physically, so that only allowed things to move along even more quickly. When she kisses me, it is fantastic. I can’t remember ever enjoying kissing a woman more. I assume it’s similar for her, but I don’t know for sure. When we hug, I could happily stay that way for hours. Except that I am a guy, and, well, enough intimated. But physically we fit together perfectly. She’s tall. I’m about 6 feet. we’re both slender. Everything lines up perfectly. Or at least it did. Maybe it will someday again. We never made love. And I’ve never made love to anyone. I’m not a 40-year old virgin, I’ve just never been intimate with someone I deeply connected with.

This blog will be dedicated to her. It will be a place for me to air out all of my thoughts and feelings, joys and sorrows, hurt and confusion. It will be a place for me to journal and let it all out. I haven’t been touched psychologically like this by another human being in years. I’ve been in love once, when I was 19, and I met someone incredible (Sharon) about 11 years ago, but in the final analysis, I wasn’t economically viable, so she passed on me, even though we hit it off right away and connected deeply, et cetera. I’ve also had two long term relationships where I probably played it safe and hid out from life for a while. I’m still friends with the last woman, she’s my best friend. The first long-term relationship did not end well, there was a lot of hurt and a lot of unkind things were said by both. I’d like to think I was younger then and that I’m above that now. Anything I’ve said to Tiffany that might be construed as harsh or unkind has never been said in anger, just out of hurt. And above all, I’ve always considered it to be truthful and accurate. I’ve never raised my voice at her, and wouldn’t. But I have spoken with passion, and intensity is something that Tiffany generally runs from, not to. So there is a learning-curve for me here.